Go Have a (Crystal) Ball

Nestled between Parkway Cleaners and DK Diner at 619 E. Gay St. is the small dingy building that houses Psychic Readings by Rose. If you live here, you’ve driven past this place for years and yet I’m sure haven’t ventured inside. Lately their easel sign boasting $10 readings has caught my eye on a weekly basis, and I felt compelled to pay them a visit. I’ve never visited a psychic in person and thought this would be a fun chance to do something out of my normal routine, that didn’t involve a bar tab or a shopping spree.

I made an appointment, rendering my “Did you know I was coming?” opening line useless, and so the appointment started on a more serious note. I was surprised to find the psychic wearing frog pajamas (did she know I was a Tom Robbins fan?) and vacuuming. The set up was, in my mind, perfect for a roadside soothsayer. It was arranged like a living room, with grandmotherly décor, a small clothed table in the corner housing the obligatory crystal ball, tarot cards, etc. I was surprised to find the $10 reading omitted from their menu of services. They offered instead a straight Psychic Reading, a Tarot Card Reading, and a Crystal Reading. As I will learn later, I am a “big spender”; I select the Tarot reading for $35.

Determined to give the reader, Hilary, nothing to work with, I don’t speak and attempt to channel Lady Gaga with my straightest of poker faces. She has me shuffle the deck and think of two questions I want answered, after which I select 10 random cards from the deck. She lays them out in a specific order, some facing up, some facing down and begins the reading.

She informs me that I am blessed with my own psychic abilities (true) and that I am an extremely positive and optimistic person (true). I am unflinching and unimpressed as they could easily be good guesses. Then she launches into the real stuff and accurately nails two major pieces of very specific information, and I admit, I am a little thrown after that. She goes on to deliver messages to me from my deceased best friend and unwittingly answers the two questions I’d silently asked during my card shuffling. She delves into details about my family dynamics and love life that, again, don’t seem like a one size fits all type of a stock reading.

Then she tried to sell me a healing ritual, which would include incense, crystals, and candles. At $195, I politely declined. It was tough for me to recover from an attempt to be up-sold, and so after a few quick questions, I hint that the reading is over.

Am I suggesting you make a trip? If you’re afternoon or evening routine is in a rut, this could be a really fun night out for a couple of friends, certainly fuel for some compelling post-reading conversation. But just like the Ouija Board your parents didn’t want you playing with at slumber parties, take the words of Madam Hilary for what they are and don’t lose sight of who is really at the steering wheel of your destiny. And get your incense and candles elsewhere.

Reading: $35 cash only (they did not have change readily available for my $40, so take small bills)